Markings

My Master wrote in his blog, of marking possessions. And as i am one of those possessions, this one will be permanently marked with his cypher on her breast and her slave registration tattoo eventually on her lower back once i am in his proximity. Speaking of which, the plans have been finalized, the flight booked  and now i sit here and wait for the day to arrive. Its a comforting thought to know they are taken care of. In January this one will be taking a plane and crossing the ocean to be with her Master full time and it brings this one such peace to know the plans are finalized. Now back to markings, i relish the idea of being permanently marked, to be able to look down upon my breast and see His cypher there, to know that when He takes me from behind he will see the slave registration marked on my skin, so either from the front or the back He will know he put them there as a commitment to Us. As i have stated before my body is his to do with as he wishes and i have no qualms of being permanately marked by Him, its my commitment to him to have this done. And when we are together, and he is marking me with the tool of his choice, again the commitment is there. And even those markings wont last, he can repeat the process as often as he likes, for my body is his. The cypher and slave registration code will be permanent and mixed with everything else that we do, i know in my heart and soul i am his slave for ever more. And as his slave that makes me extremely happy

Changes

Life is about changes, whether wanted or not. Fortunately for this one the changes that i am enduring are by choice and desire. I spoke about before about re-lactation, herbal supplements, nipple stimulation and breast massage all help to make this feasible, even though not pregnant. We have no desire to have a child, but do wish to enjoy the benefit of my breasts producing milk. Other changes that will occur once i am with Him, will include corset training to slim my waist and make those breasts more pronounced, and to enhance my hips and buttocks that He enjoys so much. My Master has purchased two corsets for me to wear. One i will wear immediately and the other is smaller in size once my body adjusts to the corset training i will endure. More changes will be non physical, my mindset will be in slave mode, to be obedient, wanton, and endure what ever He wishes to do to me in my training. There will be anal training as well, getting used to wearing plugs and tails, it will be a process for my body to adjust to and become accustom to, to the point it becomes second nature. This one will be bound in a rope harness to wear when naked or under clothing if we should go out to tend to everyday things, can be doubly plugged upon his whim or not.  My mindset will be of the total woman that my Master wants. I will be his friend, his lover, his sex slave, his wanton beast. My days will be filled with the balance of all of that and so much more. Will endure exquisite pain and pleasure, for the benefit of us both.
The fire that burns within us both is equally matched, we know what we want and what works for us. My willing slavery to Him, is what he wants in a woman, His domination and control of me is what i want in a man. We are a perfect fit and that will endure for always as we move forward and grow together.

my future

this one sits in a quiet home, early in the morning, and drinking a warm cup of coffee, just took my supplements to re induce lactation, and her breasts feel achy, but no production of milk yet.  Her thoughts roam to the time in January when she will be in her Masters arms, wearing his collar permanently attached to her neck. Kneeling at his feet or crawling along side him as he walks. This ones body and mind ache to feel his touch, whether soft or harsh. Her soul aches to feel the fire she knows he can stir in her and will continue to grow and foster. It is time for Him and his slave to be together, to touch and caress one another, to continue her training and grow as Master and slave.  To be what they both truly want more than anything. Fate brought us together in a virtual world and with one rl meeting and time spent together, they know they belong together. So come January 2012, it will be their reality for the rest of their days. Personally this one cannot wait. It is time!

women

Since i had a comment posted by my Master and he wishes to know how i feel about modern women and yesterdays women i have been thinking alot. In this ones personal opinion, before womens lib, women were docile, complacent, knew their place in the household and in the world environment. Todays society makes alot of demands of women, to become bread winners, to not only take care of the house, kids, and their spouse, but to contribute to bills, and other societal demands. I do not wish to offend anyone, but by the changes wrought over the last few decades, i sometimes think we forget what it is to be a woman.
To me, being a woman is about being  soft, beautiful, loving, willing to do what it takes to please her partner. And since i am also a slave, a willingness to give up anything and everything for her Master, to be what he wishes and desires. That does not mean to say that i do not have a voice, or that i am a mindless doll to be played with. Quite the opposite. Our relationship is a give and take. He wants a woman that he can have an intelligent conversation with, to be able to lovingly seduce her, or take her with such force as to make her feel nothing more than his lowly beast. He wants a woman that can compose herself in society but behind close doors is nothing than a naked wanton slut, or a lowly beast on her hands and knees, bound and used to his liking.  For me that is being a woman. i sometimes think i was born in the wrong era, but theres nothing i can do about that now. But i know what i am and what my Master wants and he will have it with all the love that i can give. To be a woman for me, is to be demure, loving, craving her Master all the time, to do the things he demands of me and wishes from me with out reservation or hesitation. For i unconditionally give my all to him. Heart body and mind.

what possesses someone

What would possess someone to willingly and completely give over her mind and body over to another. Where she has no or little say in what happens to her. Why would she allow her mind and body to go through exquisite pain and pleasure. Why would she allow body modification to meet her Masters goals and ideals. There are so many questions as to why it is that we do what we do. But for this one, its an easy answer. It is something  this one has wanted for much of her adult life. Many would argue that its an escape from reality. But reality is what we make it.  My reality has been up to this point, the typical life of a woman, going through her daily tasks, paying bills, grocery shopping , taking care of home and hearth, etc. In this ones humble opinion, society has taken  out the complete woman in all of us. Come January of 2012, it will be so totally different. It will be a reality of service to ones Master. To be the loving doting partner, the wanton slut bound and used to her Masters pleasure, to be the beast crawling on the floor, leashed and trained. That is what possesses me, my training  will incorporate all the aspects of a total woman.  To put aside the societal drills incorporated in her head, to be free to feel beautiful, wanton, desired, used, taken. To not only experience pleasure but to give it to the one that controls her as well,  and be able to experience pain with pleasure. To meet head on the dark pleasures of ones mind, with the likeness of another. That is what possesses me.

a dream i had

i awoke from a dream i believe will be in my future. In other words the dream will become a reality probably more than once.  I dreamt that i was in a cage, bound tightly, in a kneeling position naked.  My arms tightly bound behind me, my legs and feet bound to the rest of my body so i could barely move. i was hooded and all my senses were taken away, i could not hear anything, see anything nor speak, the hood was tightly afixed to my head, with a built in gag, some sort of stuffing was in my ears to mute my hearing, the hood had a built in gag. My ass and pussy was stuffed with a dildo and large anal plug, afixed with a rope harness so they could not come out. My nipples were clamped, the delicious ache ringing through out my body.I was put in the cage for some sort of punishment. I was left there to contemplate my reality. My body ached, i felt every nerve tingling, the hood was warm, my breath was slow and easy. In a sense it was comforting to be in the position i was in, it reiterated my status as to what i voluntarily submitted to.  Every movement reminded me what i was, if i shifted slightly i could feel the dildo and plug shift with me. I could feel the ropes that held me bound, i could feel the ache of my nipples. I was contemplating my mistake, (which wasnt clear in the dream) but i knew He wasnt pleased, its why i was where i was. I do not know how long He will keep me there, but that is not for me to worry about. He has the right to keep me there till He feels i have made penance. Nothing is worse for a slave than to be ignored by her Master, to disappoint him or be punished for a mistake.  But we are  human and mistakes happen and i sat in my cage, tightly bound, knowing the punishment was warranted. And content knowing He could and would punish me strictly but  fairly.  After all it is a Masters job to keep control over his possession even when they wrong.

Chains of Steel

i was given this assignment to write about Chains of Steel and what it means to me. Beyond the obvious, as a slave, chains of steel can refer to the chains i will be wearing through out my life as a slave. Whether leashed, shackled or hobbled the chains will restrict my movements highly.They can be worn as a reminder to what i am or as a punishment for what i may do wrong. But as i was given this assignment, i thought of other chains of steel, and here i speak figuratively. My heart wears chains inexplicably linked to my Master. My body is his to mold and take control of therefore also chained to him. My mind is forever changing in what it means to be a slave under my Masters control. The chains of ones heart, body and soul to another is stronger than any chains of steel my body may be wearing at any given time. For its the goal of a slave to always be pleasing, to be what her Master wants and desires. To be molded into what he desires from a slave such as me. There is a fire that burns deep in this one, that wants nothing than to give her all to Him. Her Master has told her over and over that he wants the complete woman, a lover, a slut, a beast to do with as he wishes. He will break the chains that society has placed in me, and mold new ones get that complete woman He so desires. And i cannot wait till the actuality of all that takes place. As old chains are shed and news ones forged for what i am and will become.

random thoughts

i awoke this morning, breasts deliciously achy, got up,got dressed and pulled my hair back into a loose ponytail, that is one of the instructions from my Master. My hair is to be up in a ponytail or braid till i am kneeling in front of him. Went downstairs and made coffee, opened up my machine and logged into here. To be instructed to do something even when he is hundreds of miles away is such a comforting thought. He has bought me two corsets for waist training for when i arrive there. To be bound in a corset tightly with breasts thrust up seems like a delicious form of training and bondage, see my body is His to do with as he wishes and over time my waist will be shrunk through this training. I am very much looking forward to this as well as many other things He has in store for me, although i can only speak of the anticipation of it all right now, there will be a time i can speak of the reality of it. And i will blog about my experiences. Over the last several months we have spoken of many things. The corset training is one of them. He wishes to also give me anal training so that i can comfortably take him or any tool he wishes to place there, in that orifice when he desires it. He has spoken of enemas to cleanse me, an anal hook to enhance my posture. There will be times i will be in a harness via rope or leather and doubly plugged as well as i carry out my day. January can not come fast enough. He has also devised a set of rules for me, that i will learn and memorize. He desires perfection and i will strive for that. One of these rules is that while at home, i will be kept naked at all times, there will be a robe by the door in the event of unexpected visitors. I will be kept in some form of bondage as well.

update on shi

Its been over a year since i posted on this blog, and many things have happened but  i will focus on my slavery to my Master. In just a couple of months, this one will be in her Masters collar permanently, and kneeling at His feet. W/we have spent much time discussing what my slavery will entail. He has decided that i should be lactating by the time i am at his feet. So this one is currently on supplements to enhance and help that to happen. Of course i have lactated before from having children, but this time i am not pregnant, so i did a lot of research to see how it is done. I am taking three supplements daily and since nipple stimulation is key,  i place wooden clothes pins on them every two hours for 10-15 mins at a time. Doing that has definitely made a difference. Every time i take the supplements, i think of the goal, i think of Him, and look forward to January 2012. My breasts are definitely feeling different and i am  confident that i will be producing milk soon or definitely by the time i join him for good.
My slavery has grown deeper in my mind and heart and i long to feel Him close to me, to be able to smell him, and be in his bonds, i know in my heart that my slavery will not always be easy, but He has reassured me we will always have a balance. This one is His woman , lover,slave, slut and beast. And i could not  be happier.

being a slave!

Its a strange thing to want to give ultimate control to someone else. Your body, mind and soul in the hands of someone else. At least that is what some say. But to this one, its her truth, her life and the one choice she has willingly made. I have given up total control to my Master. In our virtual world and in the real world. And this one would not want it any other way. To know that He can do what He wishes to this one is such a bliss thats sometimes hard to explain. We have had several long talks over our feelings, fantasies and wishes. And the one thing that is always agreed upon is that as long as it is safe,sane and consensual, it can be done. Not all in one day mind you but over time and  He decides which avenue my training may take. The SSC may be a contradiction in our Master/slave relationship to some, but He cherishes his property as his property cherishes him. He has told me that once this one is in front of  Him, kneeling naked, collared and leashed that the training He plans for me will not be an easy road. But nothing worthwhile in life ever is. There will be times that my body will sting from his lash, my mind will burn with His will. There will also be times of complete restraint for isolation, senses muted through gag, blindfold, ear plugs, left to sink into my own mind and contemplate what i am to him and him to me. Every aspect of this ones body, mind and soul will be his to mold as he so desires.
 Every aspect of my life will be controlled by Him. There will be different levels of protocol.. To the outside world we will look like a loving caring couple, but in the privacy of His home, i will be a wanton sexual slut. To be whipped and fucked at his desire, to service him in any way he chooses. To be bound like a beast in chains and cuffs, or tied up in rope pressing tightly into her skin, trussed up and held by her Masters will. There will be punishment when warranted, discipline when He decides, isolation for self contemplation.
As this one reflects on her life, she knows this is where she wants to be, collared, leashed , kneeling naked with legs spread wide, gazing adoringly into her Masters eyes when he allows it. Her body a vessel for His use, her mind to mold to become the best slut for her Master and her soul to fill with nothing but the love of her Master.