shi's mantra

shi surrenders her body to Masters' hand
shi surrenders her mind to Masters' voice
shi surrenders her heart to Masters' love

opinions please

Do you find yourself struggling with the strong dominant part of you that you use every day, the one that makes decisions to do what you have to do in your daily life with the submissive slave inside you that grovels at her Masters feet, allowing him to do what he wants to you, binding you, using you at his pleasure and discretion. Treating you like the slut you truly desire to be. Do you reconcile the two or let one become more than the other. In our dynamic, Master is in control, i submit to his will and desires. We were talking tonight about recomitting ourselves to this dynamic when I return home. How things will  change, how he will decide what happens to me how and when and where. The word no will not be in my vocabulary. That what he says goes. I am his slut to be bound, disciplined, used, and punished when necessary. I am to become his wanton slut, always ready for him, his  commands, his desires, and his cravings. And to be honest, i couldnt be happier, that i am going to relinquish all of me to him. It is what i have wanted for a very long time and for various reasons it has never come to full fruition. But now we start a new chapter in our lives, so that we can become truly what we are.  Master mentioned tonight that i will push my boundaries, let my dominant streak come through and he has committed to me that if that happens i will incur a punishment. I want to strive to let the dominant side of me go to sleep, to rest while the submissive slave in me comes to the forefront. Do any of you struggle with this dilemna and if so how do you deal with it? What do you do or are made to do to be the slave that both you and your Master want and need? I know this is an internal struggle that only i can find the answer for but i do look forward to hearing what you all have to say.

Inner reflection

I sit here and think of Him. He is several thousand miles away and asleep at this time. My mind drifts over the last few weeks of our discussions via hangouts and emails. My body yearns for his touch whether it be tender or rough.  Yearns for the caress of rope on her skin, the kiss of the flogger against her buttocks, the crop enticing the breasts to turn red and bounce. Only 8 mores days till her body and mind bends to the will of Him.   Why is it that I crave the mix of pain and pleasure, the helplessness of being bound and not in control of what and when something will happen to her?  The desire to submit to his commands and directions is all consuming, to grovel at his feet and do as he asks of me. This is what I want, need and desire and thankfully I have found a man in my life that is willing to give that to me for me and for us. A true Master who is growing and learning earnestly just as earnestly as his little slut is for His touch.

Told to slow down......good advice

In the excitement of reconnecting with my Master, to become the slave he truly deserves shi was told to slow down.  Our discussions over the last couple of weeks have been about what He will do to me when shi returns home. We have purchased additional tools to explore anal play, to further her discipline  and lactation inducement. We have gotten more ropes to further bondage exploration. We have discussed the mental aspects this one needs to feel truly slave like. As he has stated, we need a good foundation in order to develop our relationship on a deeper physical and mental level. This one is excited over all the new changes coming to her when she returns home into her Masters arms. So excited that at times she confuses her Master with her ideas, suggestions and comments. Slowing down is a good thing. Master is correct, we need a solid foundation without complicating it into a million ideas. Shi is slowing down and patiently waiting for her fate when she takes that plane trip home. Knowing that whatever Master wishes from his shi, he will get. A new mindset to encourage, develop and love the roles that both her Master and shi will enjoy for years to come.

Recommitting to one another

Distance makes the heart grow fonder or so they say. Actually for this one, the distance makes the body ache for her Masters touch so desperately. We have been communicating via various online programs, but nothing replaces the daily physical contact ie cuddling at night and chatting before we drift off to sleep. Another three weeks and this one will be home. And when shi returns, there will be many changes taking place. Many new rules to be followed, Physical changes, mental changes and changes in Our dynamic that will benefit both of us.  A commitment to be a better slave to her Master, to mentally change attitudes and perceptions, to break through barriers that have inhibited me. That all changes the second i walk through that door of our home. And to be honest it is a long time coming for both of us, and i am excited and nervous for it all to begin again.  There is a list for me regarding the mindset of a slave and i pledged to Him that that list will be adhered to to the best of my ability. Will ask Master for permission to publish that list here on this blog. Hope everyone is having a great day.

Return home and shi's rules.

Shi is still on her extended trip, returning home in a few weeks. As shi explained in her last post, there has been a long period where we were forced to return to a more "normal" relationship as shi had some long running health issues to contend with which are no longer an issue.
I, for my part, had no intention of jeopardising her return to health by enforcing "the rules" and punishing any deviation. Which leads me nicely on to my main point.
In my opinion, for what it is worth, it is part of the role of Master/Owner to ensure that his possession is looked after and that steps are taken to ensure that their health and welfare are always of paramount importance. Failure to respect this diminishes the Master in the eyes of his possession and that will always be to the detriment of their bond.
However, what we did incorrectly was just assuming that we wanted or needed to remain as we became, in a normal relationship. Conversation about each others needs dried up during the long period concerned, that was our fault, and a lesson learned.
Despite everything, we are the same. Nothing has changed, especially the desire.There will be rules, starting with those detailed on this site, and they will be enforced. Shi has her instructions on her new attire, which shi will make on her return once we have resourced a suitably harsh fabric. We are not going back to square one, just back sufficiently to build some resilience, which will be low after a long break.

We have returned after a long absence

Hello all, thank you for those that have stuck with me in the last few years even though there hasnt been a recent post. And I apologize for not monitoring this blog and deleting the idiot who posted porn links to my blog as comments. I have deleted them all, I hope, but if i missed one please let me know.
I am not against porn sites, but dont wish any of my readers to get an infected link and causing them trouble.

This is posted in our history page but i will post it as the first blog post in a long while, it explains a little of what has been going on. I am going to be more diligent regarding this blog and posting and monitoring comments so that it is not spammed again.


Master and shi met online in 2008. We lived in a virtual world together for several years. Shi at the time was in a real life relationship and decided that it was no longer viable. Master and shi were several thousand miles apart with a great ocean between them. In 2009 shi met her Master in real life and decided that is where she belonged. In 2012 shi gave up everything and went to live with him and truly be the slave that she craved and so desired. Well so shi thought. But due to health problems and female problems it became a very comfortable regular relationship. With all the ups and downs that come with it. And i am not knocking those that enjoy that type of relationship. Recently on an extended trip away from her Master, shi realized that they both have suffered from deviating from what they are to one another. And her Master agreed. So a reaffirmation of who we are to one another, a recommitted attitude towards and for one another, and the path we both crave and desire for and to each other has begun to be rebuilt and re-established.