Hiccup?

Is blogspot hiccupping? All but one of my followers, have disappeared, have to blame it on either a program error, something i did, or you all left, hope its not the latter.
Anyway this is day two of the no nail biting thing, and so far they havent even gone near my mouth. I suppose its because i am making a conscious effort to make sure they dont. I have been keeping my hands busy with reading others blogs, drinking coffee, and sorting things out for later for a project i am working on. Its cold but sunny, and maybe in a bit i will go to the store to return some things i didnt use on the last project.
As soon as the rest of the house awakes i intend to get busy on this project, and hope it turns out better than the last one. Although pleased with the results of it, something was way off and i cannot wear it. With the blogs that i have joined to follow i must say i am thoroughly enjoying reading the works of others. Whether its a view, a story, feelings or something holiday related.  And both from the sub side and the Dom side of things. Hope everyone is having a good day.

A task and my bad habit!

The task was given to me by my Master, he says i have nice hands. Only one problem, here i am in my 40's and i am a nail biter, always have been. I believe it stems from a childhood trauma and the biting gives me a sense of peace. God only knows why. But its more than that, i just do not bite my nails to the quick, (and this is going to sound worse than it is) but i also peel layers of the nail till i get to the point of some slight pain. It allows me to feel something, often times enough to satisfy the whatever it is in me. But now i am told my hands belong to Him now and i am no longer allowed to bite my nails. This order was given to me last night and even though i protested and told him it would not be easy, he knew this and supports me in this endeavor to stop. I dont like biting my nails but obviously there is some sort of pay off for me or i wouldnt still be doing it. How do you stop a bad habit after a lifetime of doing it? I want to please him and allow my nails to grow, to have pretty hands and nails to maybe rake across his skin when we are together, but its almost a second thought when i do it. Since last night when my fingers go where they shouldnt i have caught myself and stopped. But do i have the will power to do it successfully? Can i do stop this after a lifetime of doing it? I know i should, its an order now to stop. But i fear failure. On top of it he wants me to give a progress report every Thursday on this particular task. So we will see how the next week goes. This will not be easy for me and he knows it. But since my Master ordered me to take on this task, i will do my best and hopefully in the long run succeed. I want pretty nails, as does he. But it definitely wont be easy.. So wish me luck and if i fail you will know about it here on this blog, but if i succeed you will know too.

The above picture

The above picture for the blog  is titled "Light of Life"  I found it through a search, i am not sure who the artist is but once i find out i will give them credit here. I like the fact that it looks old and cracked, not perfect but still beautiful in its own way. The fact she is kneeling staring into the candle, he is behind her holding her gently by the head, is he ordering her to look into the flame? To contemplate her lot in life? Is he giving her directions as he tells her to stare into that flame, or is he whispering what he plans for her that evening? giggles, now my mind wanders.... Personally i thought it was a beautiful picture, and so relevant to what it is that Master and i are.

Ups and downs

There are ups and downs to life we all experience them, whether mental or physical. The last couple of weeks have been mostly ups and yesterday was a down. My Master knows what i speak of, and even in a down day there He was comforting, adding suggestions to change the day, giving me options to improve the situation and just being there for me.  We are not all about beating my ass, or controlling my submission through his strong hands. We seek a balance in life. It is very important to us. We have discussed many times that 'balance'. Sure i am his slave and he is my Master, but there is more to us than that. When he or I is having a rough day we are there for emotional support for each other. We give comfort, suggestions, advice what ever we feel is needed to help the other out. We are a multifaceted couple as i am sure many of you are as well. Its like we have discussed we cant be in Master/slave mode all the time with nothing else between us. 1. We will burn out fast and 2. we need that balance in life to be more complete. We strive to continually maintain that balance, as lovers, friends, companions and Master/slave. So since i had a down day yesterday, there he was comforting me with my frustrations in a loving way. Sometimes things happen because they were meant to, does not mean i have to like it. But i can wallow in that frustration or pick myself up by my bootstraps and seek the options out there to change it. I prefer the latter. So with his love, guidance and patience he picks me up and does not let me wallow. For that i am grateful.

Naked

A simple word with so many connotations. My Master requested this post, as he often helps to think of topics to post. And since no new posts were done except for the one my Master wrote about my collar, which i absolutely love and cant wait to have it permanently around my neck, due to a busy weekend, this is my topic for today.
One of the few rules i will have when i am there is to remain naked in the house with nothing on but my collar and cuffs. To always be accessible to him when he so desires it. And even when he is at work, unless i am sent out on an errand or need to go outside the home to take care of something, i will remain naked, to help me with my mindset of being his slave. There will be by the front door an appropriate robe for me to quickly throw on should someone appear at the door for whatever reason. Oh and yes when i am cooking i will be allowed an apron to protect my skin from any splatters, giggles, maybe that will be my next project to sew.(The one exception to this rule is when mother nature comes calling then i will be allowed appropriate wear for that time) There is something comforting knowing i will not be encumbered by clothing in our home. To have my body fully visible and accessible to him. I can envision my sitting there, perhaps blogging while he is at work, nude, or reading or working on some sort of craft project. Catching glimpses of myself with no fettered clothing on. There is a sense of vulnerability when knowing clothing is forbidden except for those times he allows it. Or its necessary for the demands of the world we live in. It will take some getting used to i am sure. But for me this will be a small adjustment.
This is the physical aspect of  being naked and now i will delve into the mental aspect of it here.
To be naked mentally will take a bit more getting used to. And in the past i have done some nakedness for my Master to a certain degree.We agreed along time ago that sometimes i have a communication issue, due to my upbringing. That i have a funny way of getting to the subject matter i wish to discuss or an idea i wish to pass on to him. I often get embarrassed, or feel guilty for a certain idea or subject matter. So another form of nakedness for me will be to not hide anything from him, my thoughts, my dreams, my fantasies and the things in the dark recesses of my mind. He has mentioned to me that i am getting better at this, but he feels my being physically naked and nothing hidden will help with my mental nakedness. That when He asks me what i am thinking or feeling, because of the vulnerability i will be feeling without the clothes that it will be easier for me to tell him. And maybe it will be and then again maybe not. But He has a way of getting the answers out of me  even if there is a little prodding. But i am thinking there will come a time when we have adjusted to being together, that we sink into what it is that we do and become more comfortable with each other and ourselves that all of this will be second nature to me.
Being naked with out clothes will help me to consider my womanhood, to know i own nothing with out his approval, to help me feel more comfortable with my body and looks, and in turn it will help with the mindset that i am his slave, i am there for his enjoyment, his pleasure and that nothing will be hidden from him ever.That my body and mind are his to mold, use and take care of at his discretion. Master owns me fully and completely, i am his woman, slut, beast and lover. And i will do what i need to to fulfill that role with him and within myself.

shi's collar

For those that are interested, this is shi's collar from the maker's web page. It's  Turian style and hers carries a leash ring. It is described by the maker like this:
"This collar is hand made of solid 3/8 inch diameter Stainless Steel. The mating ends are shiplapped. This method for joining gives the collars a smooth and elegant look without unsightly gaps that could draw attention and snag on hair or pinch the skin.
It will not wobble, even when opened by it's 1/8 inch Stainless Steel hinge pin and once secured by a # 8 Stainless Steel Buttonhead Allen screw, it is as one piece."
My choice of collar for shi involved a a great deal of online searching over many days and air freighting thousands of miles. For me (and shi) the choice of collar was perhaps one of the most significant choices I  have made or am ever likely to make. It had to be right.
The collar is strong, beautiful, made with care and precision, immune from tarnishing and with its leash ring I have absolute control. It is our symbol of everything we are 24/7. What more can I say?

Thank yous' to those who joined my blog

First i want to say thank you for the followers that have joined my blog. And 2nd to those that have left comments. I am a work in progress as is my relationship with my Master and when i have a bit more time hopefully today i can explain what it is we are to one another and a bit about ourselves. Or as some like to use the term our  "dynamic" (which my Master absolutely hates that word!) Or if my Master comes on while i am gone, maybe he can find the time to do so. Unfortunately i have a busy day planned so this may end up being a more descriptive post for tomorrow. Not quite sure yet. Any way Thank you for those that have joined, and have a great day!

Rules..... the lifeblood of slavery? (Radens post)

My shi has invited me to post on this blog, I hope to make my submissions (of the literary kind) thought provoking if not down right challenging to both sides of TPE. To avoid any confusion my posts will be in this dirty gold colour, and labelled "Raden's Post"


Rules. Now there's a topic to wrestle with, as shi and I have done at times. For me there is one rule and that is sufficient, "Do as I say and learn from it". Frankly there is no need for more. We talk, I decide. Simple!
TPE is dependant on training and trust, and without trust, you can have thousands of silly rules to cover any challenging situation. That is not TPE in my mind.
shi has posted her "rules" on this site, they are a work in progress only, but unlike many slave rule lists I have seen that get longer and longer and longer..... this work in progress is more likely to get shorter! It has to or I will fail in the other aspect, training. Rules, to me are the standard. No arguing, no discussion a rule is to be obeyed. Fail and a period of punishment follows. Forget to wear your seat belt in your car and the cops will kick your ass. The same principle applies. Do it or suffer the consequences! 
The idea is, anywhere in life, set up a rule, train and re-train until it becomes second nature then the rule is embedded into daily life. Period.
Do I need a rule that says that shi will be naked at home in my presence unless given permission to wear clothing? Today I do, but once shi knows the boundaries and respects them faultlessly its a lifestyle. I trust her to know what is required and to deliver it. shi trusts me not to make her cook food on the hob without an apron to protect her from spitting fat or a falling sharp knife. After all shi knows as well as I do, that while I may whip her to tears, it is still my duty to care for my prized possessions protecting them from accidental damage. Sometimes common sense is a rule. 
So a rule is there to build trust and serve a lifestyle aspiration. Once its second nature, either the rule gets altered to reflect further development, or it become pointless as it is part of life.
I see far too many lists of "Rules" that could be reduced to a few salient points that work just as well as 50 pointless deviations from a minor theme.
Speaking personally, shi and I speak openly and frankly about our life.I know her limits, shi knows mine. Our limits will change as our trust and confidence in one another grows. After all, our lifestyle will be living life to its limits. Life changes and without open, honest, respectful communication having 500 rules is as pointless as one.

A bit of a change

I have changed my blog title, to incorporate my Master and his thoughts into this blog. He is now a contributor to this blog as well. Another thing we have decided to join together in. He still wants the emphasis to be on my slavery. But now He has the choice to post something other than a comment on this. I would like very much for this blog to be about both of U/us. And now He can when he chooses to.

Reading...

This one not only has the need and desire to submit fully to her Master, a hunger that will never go away till i am in his arms, but also has a hunger to learn from others, to see what others in this lifestyle deal with on a daily basis. Whether from the Dominant/Master side or the submissive/slave side. I have come across many wonderful blogs, hit follow on the ones that catch my eye and have thoroughly enjoyed reading many of them. Its not so much about the sex that someone may have had, but the feelings they deal with after a particular event or even before and how they changed after. I also have one or two blogs i follow that have erotic writings in them and i so do enjoy a good story. But my thirst for reading goes beyond that, Sir J recommended a book to read titled Conquer me by Kacie Cunningham and my Master was kind enough to get it for us on kindle. We have many a books on the subject of bdsm, Master and slave, rope bondage etc as well as some books for him that deal with his love for photography, some comedy books as well. I am a very avid reader, whether with fiction, non fiction, fantasy or bdsm. It sometimes drives my Master crazy that i love to read so much. (and the fact that i read fast as well). One of things i love to do is to read to my Master, whether it be a story or self help book, whether its vanilla or bdsm related. And he enjoys hearing my voice. That is one thing i know we will take time out for on a quiet evening, just sitting together as i read to him occassionally. Of course reading silently is different than reading aloud to someone. Where i read fast when reading to myself, i will slow down and make sure that i reiterate the words i am reading aloud. It makes me feel content inside when i am allowed to read to him. Although it will be different when i am actually in front of him, or curled in his arms, or kneeling at his feet, naked and collared, possibly leashed as i hold the book or kindle and read... grins, as opposed to sitting behind a computer and reading to him over the internet. Something tells me that sometimes i may not get through a chapter of the book i am reading, as He may be sitting there doing things to me that distracts my reading, and thats ok, thats what bookmarks are for... giggles.....